Despite this gorgeous picture from my three hour walk on the beach, my birthday stunk. The short story is that in the morning I videotaped a birthday ‘installation’ K left for me in the guest bedroom. When I played back the recording I heard something on the tape that sounded like a message from the non terrestrial world. It was most likely a sound I made myself while holding the camera but regardless I was freaked out all day and still feel a little wary of what I taped.
I was so freaked out that I wouldn’t go upstairs all day and ended up going to the beach in my nightgown (with a cardigan) to walk and take pictures. I was too spooked to go up and get my pants or change into proper beach clothes. But you know nightgowns, dresses, bathing suits…who can tell the difference anymore.
I walked and walked and talked to my friend Curtis on the phone while I took pictures. We talked about loved ones, death, relationships, pretty much everything…it was nice even though I was keeping him on the phone because I was kind of lonely. When K came home he watched my recording a few dozen times and decided that I’d made the noise myself.
In the evening we headed to Sassabune which was, until then, a guaranteed spectacular experience in the form of a meal. The food was delicious as usual but because it was a Saturday night and they were busier than any other time we’ve been there the waitstaff was not friendly or pleasant. Sassabune is what you could call the Sushi Nazi. You have to eat everything the way they tell you. They tell you this everytime you call for a reservation: ‘ is this your first time?’ and ‘ you do understand our rules?’ K and I ended up eating way too much and when it came to our last course I was so stuffed that I could only look at the handroll and feel sick to my stomach. I asked if I could take it home and was met with a very chilly response: ‘um, he doesn’t like that (he meaning the chef)’ and ‘he doesn’t like his food to be taken off the premises’.
All I have to say about that is ‘Sheesh’.
So all in all the day was not that great. But it leaves me feeling that as I begin my 36th year on this planet I have alot of contemplating to do.
Today was my last day being 34. And if I’m going by NY time, where I was born, I’m already 35. I was wary of spending my birthday in Hawaii seeing as most of the people dearest to me don’t live here, but it’s turning out alright– like being on a retreat. At least that’s how I’m trying to think of it.
My first trip back to NY was at the end of November. I went home because my best friend and mentor was dying of pancreatic cancer. I was able to spend the last two weeks of her life with her. It’s not easy to bring up or even think about. I felt that the holidays weren’t going to be festive or celebratory in light of this, and they weren’t. They were bittersweet and in a way it seems right that I spend my birthday far away from the city that I love and the comforts of home.
With that said, K has been sweet to me all day. We spent it eating good food and taking it very easy. Tomorrow he’s taking me to my favorite place for dinner: Sassabune. Can’t ask for much more than that.
I hoped we’d be able to go to the beach today because it had been weeks since we’ve gone swimming. Partly because of life issues but mostly because of the heavy rain. K and I ran errands in the morning and decided to see if the sun would come out in the afternoon.
We had some business at Long’s and while we were looking for envelopes we ended up in the Sanrio aisle. K pointed out a couple of cute characters and asked me if I’d like them as Birthday Friends. I quickly said Yes and now have two terribly cute companions highly appropriate for hugging (see photo above). Outside of Long’s we got a whiff of plate lunch and decided to try and find some. I mentioned the Indian truck by the post office and K said it looked shady ( I think that’s the unHawaiian in us). Then I remembered the little tent in the Kailua Shopping Center but when we got there it wasn’t up. So we settled on some Aloha Salads. I had the Ono Isalnd Ahi Salad and K had the Tiger Shrimp salad. My salad reminded me of the furakake at Nico’s. Not quite as good but very good anyway. We got smoothies at Lanikai Juice and we ate our lunch at one of the outdoor tables in the parking lot.
I had a Kailua Monkey from Lanikai Juice which really hit the spot–basically a banana and peanut butter smoothie. It was a fantastic lunch and I enjoyed sitting outside with K despite the cars coming in and out and sitting next to an SUV. It’s funny the spaces people create for themselves. The outdoor tables at Kailua Shopping Center remind me of my old job. I used to work at a museum and the first time I visited it for my interview I thought, how do people exist here. It seemed like an alley way–not an office. But after going there everyday for two years you carve out a space for yourself and your perspective changes, I suppose in order to maintain your sanity. That’s what the outdoor tables are like: you look at them and you think how do people sit out here and eat when there are exhaust fumes everywhere and people walking by to get to their cars. Anyway, despite this I enjoyed it. It was nice to sit outside in the almost sun and eat a great salad.
After lunch we went to the beach to see if it was warm enough to swim. It wasn’t. We walked along the shore instead. At Kailua beach we normally go to one of two spots, both within a few hundred feet of each other. Today we walked way down the beach in the direction of Kalapawai Market. It was strange to see how much of the beach was washed away from the storms. I’m not sure if that’s normal–but the gnarly roots of gigantic trees were all exposed because of the lost sand bed.
We walked more than a mile down the beach. We got to the point where the beach curves and is lined with mostly private residences some of which had no trespassing signs. It was so quiet, smooth, and calm. I told Ken that it must be like living in a clamshell for those people. I thought we were going to go swimming so I didn’t bring my camera but tomorrow on my birthday I’ll go take a walk and update this with some pictures.
After being here for four months we FINALLY made it to the Kailua Farmer’s Market this evening. It was AWESOME. I was so excited. I was so impatient as K tried to find parking in the majorly packed parking lot. I was almost hyperventilating. K said we must be really pitiful if I’m so excited about going to a Farmer’s Market. He said I was never excited about the Union Square Farmer’s Market and it’s at least four or five times bigger than Kailua’s. And my response was does Union Square have this:
or THESE:
There was so much to buy. We ended up buying some vegan poke, organic veggies, a couple of plate dinners, flowers, coffee, taro mochi, apple bananas, lumpia, and chocolate syrup.
I’ve been on break from blogging because my parents arrived about a week ago and today is our first day without them here. It wasn’t easy showing people around Hawaii when I still don’t really know my way around. I think we did alright but it was stressful. It rained 75% of the time they were here so my fallback plan (the beach) was totally down the toilet. We had a couple of days at Kailua and Lanikai Beach which they loved but other than that we improvised moment to moment.
We didn’t end up going to a luau but in my search for the perfect one (apparently Lahaina on Maui) I found an interesting non-luau luau called Feast at Lele. Most notably you’re served courses rather than buffet style and I read one review on Yelp that said the dancers were a bit more engaged and professional. I also found an interesting user generated travel site call Go Planit.
We took them to Chinatown and had lunch at Mabuhay Cafe. I’m not a fan of this place. The atmosphere is comfortable and cozy but the food gave me a stomach ache. The crispy pata was pretty gross. And they don’t serve Lechon. In Chinatown we picked up some glutinous rice flour and my mom and I made ginataan with sago (glutinous rice and tapioca balls with coconut milk). It was delicious.
In Chinatown I wandered into Cindy’s Lei Shop which I found so endearing and interesting. It’s so easy to take something like a lei for granted but the tradition of wearing and sharing them is something I love about Hawaiians. The woman at Cindy’s was very nice to me and showed me different leis even though she knew I wasn’t there to buy one. I particularly loved the dense Christina Leis made of orchid petals. It’s amazing that they range around $20. If we were in NY they would be at least $75.
We introduced them to all the standard treats: shaved ice at Waiolas and malasadas. Strangely the mochi balls at Waiolas were so awful. K didn’t even finish his. They tasted like feet. I’m hoping it was an anomaly because Waiolas is one of my favorite sometimes-treats.
We love Leonard’s malasadas but it’s a production to buy them. There’s always a huge line–a tour bus seems to be unloading everytime we go there. Also the last time we were there we felt so pressured by the lady behind the counter to clarify our order (when we thought we WERE being clear) that we decided to try a less stressful place. It’s like ordering from the malasada-nazi. We picked up some plain malasadas from Agnes Portuguese Bakeshop instead here in Kailua. The place serves breakfast and lunch and seems like a a nice place to meet up or work off of your laptop. I think they have wi-fi. The malasadas were very very yummy but ultimately we prefer the gooey haupia, custard and chocolate fillings from Leonards. So did my parents.
leonard's malasadas--half empty box
My parents are catholic so I had to find a church for them to attend on Sunday. We attended St Anthony of Padua last Sunday and found it quite nice. They asked us if we were visitors and gave us seashell leis. When the mass started we had to stand up and say where we were from.
We only had two days of big touristy style events. One was visiting the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor which was illuminating. We probably should have visited the USS Missouri as well but my mom and I were kind of over it. The most interesting part of the trip for me was the film before the short boat ride to the memorial. The memorial itself is a touching piece of architecture but K had told me that it was a glass bottom structure so that you can see the wreckage of the Arizona. In retrospect it makes sense that it’s not but I was pacing around the memorial trying to find a glass bottom to no avail.
Afterwards we drove into Waikiki to eat the sandwiches that I made us for lunch. We parked ourselves in Kapiolani Park to enjoy a break.
My parents were impressed with Waikiki but my mom has a bad knee so we couldn’t walk around very much. My mom wanted to go home right after the sandwiches but we dragged her around a little bit more — strolling around one of the hotels on the strip. There were little tchotchke shops and a breakfast buffet with a giant aquarium backdrop that we hoped to return to but never did. It looked nice, but that’s probably because I’m a sucker for buffets and aquariums.
On another day we took my parents to the Atlantis submarine adventure at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. It was pretty cool but definitely the priciest thing we did. Sarah asked me today if it was a real submarine and it in fact was. You take a boat out to the submarine site and part of the excitement is watching the sub come up from the previous trip. Everything is designed to be very smooth for the 40+ passengers. There’s nothing really jarring or raw about the transition from dock, to boat, to sub. The only thing was that we seemed to be sitting on the wrong side of the sub (starboard). Port side got to see everything first and more abundantly. The guide joked about discount seats but I didn’t really think that was funny. The Atlantis Company has basically created an underwater Disney-style ride. The things you see are almost entirely created by the company–man made reefs, a sunken plane, and a sunken ship. All these were purchased and placed by Atlantis. The fish life surrounding all these objects is plentiful but not anymore spectacular than fish life you would see snorkeling even though the submersible goes down over 100 ft. There was a shark but it was teeny tiny (and K wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t plastic). And there was a sea turtle which I’m fairly certain was real. The tour guide said that the Atlantis ‘structures’ had created 3000 times more fish life in the area–that sounds good, but is it? Either way it was an experience and I’m glad we did it.
I loved Hawaiian Village. I think it’s the Long Islander in me. It’s very mall-like but peaceful and pretty. After the ride we had dinner at the Hilton Benihana. It was yummy and fun for all of us but I did get a stomach ache afterwards.
For dessert we headed over to Bubbie’s for ice cream. It was really hard to find Bubbie’s on University Road. We had to park and wander around and eventually ask someone to direct us. We got 2 pints of ice cream and chocolate covered mochi ice creams. Oh it was really delicious. Much better than the packages of Bubbie’s in the grocery store.
There was one rainy day that we were driving around Honolulu. We passed a convention center that advertised a crafts and Hawaiiana fair. I suggested we stop in and I have to say it was such a bust. Parking and admission was like $25 for all of us. I know everyone was being polite because they knew I was excited about it. But frankly it was a bunch of stuff that mostly looked worthless. I’m sure there were plenty of secret treasures to be found but I’m less than a novice at vintage shopping. There was one table that had interesting toys and knick-knacks like a beautiful head model of a Hawaiian-ish woman but it was over $100. My main complaint about it is that they charge people to come in. Maybe that’s standard but it was pretty misleading.
All in all it was a week of hits and misses. K says from my blog it sounds like a week of misses and misses 😀
On the last day we took them to Boots and Kimos for breakfast; took a dip at Lanikai; and then had lunch at Nico’s. All of this was a huge hit with them. I think that it might have been their favorite day. As we drove them to the airport the most gigantic rainbow appeared and followed us all the way to the departure terminal.
K and I just got back from watching one of the last screening of HIFF 08: Noho Hewa. I was deeply moved by this film and feel that any American that has the opportunity to see this should. I first heard about the Hawaiian ‘sovereignty’ ‘movement’ from my friend over dinner when I first arrived. He was explaining to me the politics of the island because I had said that I didn’t understand why Asian American issues had no traction here. I was surprised to hear that such an issue exists. I was apt to believe Hawaii was just a happy place with lots of tan relaxed happy people. The loose strands of politics and culture that I’ve picked up since arriving make more sense after seeing the film. For example the stalled plans for a badly needed public transportation solution: rail or no rail ? The incongruous heavy military presence in stunningly lush sacred land. Or the perception that Hawaiians don’t like change.
I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to see this film. I feel rather complicit living in an area that is dominantly haole and that we’re paying rent that most local people wouldn’t be able to afford. I feel this film has given me the tools to live here more respectfully. It does what most very good films do: they leave you feeling like a better person for having seen it. Visit the website: nohohewa.com.
We also saw Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story yesterday. I think everyone should see this film too! It was so illuminating. The similarities between this 2008 election and the Bush/Dukakis race in 1988 are astounding. It’s amazing how easily and quickly we forget our mistakes. See the movie: boogiemanfilm.com
Afterwards we went into Chinatown in search of sang chau sauce which K uses in almost every cantonese dish he makes. We were under the impression that it would be very hard to find but there it was in the first grocery we walked into:
For lunch we decided to pay a visit to Pho One, one of our favorite regular places to eat in Ala Moana. Good pho and an added bonus they serve soybean milk drinks. Yuuuuum. Reminds me of home.
Unfortunately at the mall afterwards in the parking lot we scratched our car on a a concrete beam. It’s really bad. It sounded awful. Like the car was being crunched. blech.
I know I’ve posted very similar photos but it’s just so pretty–late afternoon in Kailua. It came right after I watched Obama on CNN give an address in NY at an Alfred Smith Memorial dinner. He ended his speech with an Al Smith quote:
The American people never carry an umbrella. They prepare to walk in eternal sunshine.
That’s such a nice idea. Maybe he was in Hawaii at the time.
later that day
Aloha shirt recommended by the stylish Sarah Honda: Sig Zane
This is different from the city. And it’s made me realize that I like sleeping with street noise and in a bedroom half lit by streetlights. I really don’t like the dark quiet. It’s kind of weird. It’s what I imagine being dead is like. I spend most of the night (after K has fallen asleep) reading the news on my phone in the dark and noticing every random noise. I wonder if that’ll change after being here a few months.
I got an email yesterday from a poet inviting me to be on a Bamboo Ridge panel addressing Filipino diasporic literature. I get really nervous about these kinds of things but I’m trying to think of this period living in Hawaii as an experiment. I’m trying to push myself to re-imagine my identity, my path. So to panels: Yes! I’ll do it!
I had lunch at Aloha Salad with my good friend Seth today. It’s been a nice twist of fate to end on the same island as him given that we met over ten years ago in New York and had lost touch for a few years. He’s become a lawyer in the time that we’ve been out of contact. It’s really good to to see him here.
Over our lunch he was telling me about the US Attorney he worked for when he first got here and how he overhauled the probationary system to be a more rehabilitative process and that it was inspired by a text called Fixing Broken Windows. I found it very interesting.
Let me say a couple of things I hate about Kailua:
giant roaches
gecko droppings
portuguese man o war
rats that climb trees
and finally living in a place that is bookended by screaming children.
The final item has been particularly irritating the past couple of days. On the one side it’s unavoidable: a family with young kids one of which is a baby and it can’t help screaming. On the other side is a schoolyard which sometimes makes me want to tear my hair out. I love kids. I mean I even want kids but until you’ve heard kids playing together and screaming like individuals on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I don’t hink you’ve really heard kids. I mean we think they’re so sweet and innocent and spontaneous and we should strive to be as uninhibited as they. But the way kids scream in a schoolyard, you know I think it’s not a good thing. I think they’re in existential pain. Anyhow, I would take the noise of a troop of drunk adults coming down an East Village street over a group of 9 year olds running amok in a school yard.
My intention was to write about how lovely today is (see picture above). We are, in fact. having our first guest over for dinner. I’m excited. The house is clean; all the food is prepped; and the wine is chilling in the fridge.
Too bad there’s an army of rabid boys playing basketball in painful earshot.
Three One Nine 