the more you ignore me…

Ken got me a Canon for Christmas.  I love it.  I don’t know how to use it but I love it.  At night after he falls asleep I read lens reviews and blog posts about exposure.  When my eyes are too tired to read anymore I go to sleep very satisfied that given the opportunity, I’ll be able to take a perfect picture of the Mokes by moonlight.  But it never work out that way.  By the time the shot is in front of me I panic and switch to full auto mode, ending up with lots of blur or sometimes just pitch blackness.

Last night in Chinatown was a great chance to take action photos in low light.  Wing Tek had a private dragon dance at his office followed by dinner, then wonderful cacophonous firecrackers and lions.  I took 500 pictures.  Most of them are crap but what I liked was that under normal circumstances I would have moved farther away from the noise after taking a peek at the action.  But with my camera I wanted to get closer and closer.

Lunar new year food is the bomb!

Dear Jade…..

Around Thanksgiving was the last time I sat down and gathered my thoughts for writing a post.  I’ve found, since coming to Hawaii, that very fundamental things can change over a few weeks time. K and I have grown accustomed to packing up and leaving places we love only to return three months later.  

This past season has been the best for me here in Hawaii.  Sometimes it hovers around one of the best times of my life in general.  I think there will always be parts of NY that I can’t negotiate leaving behind.  No matter how ideal the circumstances, I long for how I feel when I’m with friends eating Korean fried chicken in dark places, downing bottles of soju, and arguing about politics or tv shows.  Or walking miles around the city with Kat or Eleanor for hours and hours on a weekday afternoon, coming up with unnecessary errands just for an excuse to walk and talk a little longer.  I accept that I don’t have that here–and it’s totally ok because I don’t believe that I exist in both places anymore. Hawaii has won me over for the meantime.  I love it here.  I love being here with K.
I love K.

This year is almost a completely different Hawaii from last year.  Due in large part to finding this house.  Sometimes I walk up to the front door and I already anticipate missing it someday.  Every time we come home my heart surges a little bit and I say to myself I love this place.  Corny!

I also never anticipated how much a car would change every aspect of my life. The first day that I had it (and K was working), I was so confused.  Even though I had nowhere to go, I kept thinking I had to DRIVE somewhere.  I made a special trip to get gas even though I had almost a full tank.  Kat explained to me that that wasn’t how it worked. That you buy gas when you’re already out doing things so as not to WASTE gas GETTING gas.  These are the sorts of things I didn’t know.  I wondered if it was foolish to have a whole separate car for me at all.  That feeling dissipated very quickly.

And with that went the era of blogging about frogs at the front door, or giant spiders, or pictures of empty jello cups.  I no longer do yoga everyday (or hula) and I haven’t written a poem since the summertime.

Which is all ok.  In fact its better.

If I can find a new way to write about all of it maybe I’ll be able to explain why.

Over and out!
Nancy

Thanksgiving


Last year I was in New York for Thanksgiving so K and I didn’t spend it together. This year we were invited to four people’s Thanksgivings which was so nice and unexpected.

We thought that we’d be able to go two. Though later we found that both started at the same time. We decided to go to our friend Mark’s house for a traditional “pre-Western contact” Hawaiian dinner and then to the Marine Corps Base in Kaneohe for dessert.


It would have been nice to spend more time at each place but either way it was an amazing holiday and I’m still full.

When we arrived in Manoa, the table was set so beautifully.


Mark had fish and breadfruit on the fire downstairs and I was so excited to eat. I love Hawaiian food: lau lau, haupia, and poi. Some people aren’t fans of poi because of its texture and bland-ish taste. But to me it’s like mochi pudding. I love it. I feel like I knew what it would taste like before I ever tasted it and I knew that I would like it.


We also had awa for the first time. Mark was straining it by hand for awhile before we ate. Kalei warned us that it doesn’t taste good and if she hadn’t I might have thought so. But you’re meant to drink it all down at once before a meal. It has a relaxing effect and prepares your body for the big meal ahead. Mark said that some people even use it to help them sleep. I drank it all and it wasn’t so bad…what was nice was the novocaine like effect afterwards. K wondered later ‘can you become an awa-holic?’ Mark answered ‘yes’.


The meal was so delicious but I got full so fast. I was all revved up to dig in and then all of a sudden everything on my plate was gone and I felt like I couldn’t take one more bite of food…and believe me I tried.

After dinner the sun began to set and it started to rain sideways.


Mark said that it was good luck. That if you looked at the mountain it looked like a woman’s face and the rain was like her hair flowing behind her.

It was a lovely dinner. But we were running late and had to head over to Kea’s for dessert. Before we did though, we had one more cup of awa.


When I was in college my boyfriend was in the Air Force. One Summer rather than go home to my parent’s house, I lived secretly on base with him. I have some really fond memories of that time. Life on base for an enlisted is not fancy, it can be kind of boring but there’s also alot of order and camaraderie. Which I really like. In some ways I was looking forward to revisiting a military base.


There were some construction issues so we drove around in circles for a little bit. It was interesting to see the neighborhoods–winding narrow roads lined by houses that looked very new, white and upright…like soldier houses. I was reminded by our host’s comment over the course of the night how easy it would be not to leave base at all. Everything you need is mostly there. K remarked how it felt like a city that could be anywhere–that we could have easily not been in Hawaii at all.

When we got to our friend’s house they had finished dinner hours ago and were busily cleaning up. The house was filled with young children and the TV was blaring Hotel for Dogs. There were alot of people there, mostly military families. The three men that were there had recently come back from Afghanistan and Iraq after multiple tours of being away.

At one point our friend’s husband offered to help the ladies in the kitchen with the dishes and everyone guffawed ‘the WARRIOR wants to help with the dishes!’.

Kea’s food looked fantastic. We were able to have some of her apple pie, pumpkin mousse, and home made sorbet.


She was very kind to pack up a little bit of everything she made and the next day we were able to have a whole Thanksgiving meal for lunch.


Good job with the turkey, Turkey.


Early Thanksgiving morning, we headed to Lanakila headquarters to do some extra volunteer work. We were assigned to the Tray Assembly line which meant helping to scoop hot turkey dinners for 800 meals that were going out to the neediest seniors.

We were half an hour early and yet by the time we got there the parking lot was full and there was a mass of people registering for their shift.


We got in line to wash our hands then get our hair nets and gloves. Everyone waited patiently while the the coordinators got the lines ready.


Once the food was brought out, one of the coordiantors thanked us all for being there and gave us a rousing pep talk.


We were asked to take a spot next to a ladle with a designated food label: green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce. Everyone scrambled for a spot and waited like dogs at the starting gate.


There are no pictures of what happened next because there was such a flurry of activity and suddenly me and K were scooping, scooping, scooping. Once in awhile the Lanakila staff would yell out some encouragement, or ‘level scoops!’ or ‘hot behind you!’ or ‘more gravy on line 2!’.

Two things I felt while we were scooping our meals:
1. Assembly lines are fun.
And 2. this is making me hungry.


Before we knew it, it was all over. The entire process took less than an hour. Russell the coordinator yelled out ‘Thank you people! Now go on home and watch some football!’ and everyone clapped and dispersed within seconds.

It was really well organized and very satisfying to be a part of. Like a flash mob, flash volunteering.


Restaurant Week


K’s friend Rebecca was in town for a couple of days and she wanted to try Nobu in Waikiki for dinner. There was a special menu as it was Restauarant Week in Hawaii. We decided to go with the four course $40 menu. It was pretty good. Though I was still hungry afterwards. And I drank too much sake… but I got to recline in my car seat and drift off into that great kind of sleep that happens when it’s late, someone else is driving, and you’ve had alot to drink but not enough to make you feel dizzy when you close your eyes.


A few days later I went to Town with Ben and Martha and had their Restaurant Week menu. Three courses for $20–an amazing deal. I had the risotto but I had a taste of Martha’s gnocchi and I’m definitely going to get that next time.

In closing here’s a non-related Restaurant Week picture. Pancake special at Cinnamon’s for the month of November, Pumpkin Crunch:


A day that nothing gets done.


I read poems
and took a nap
after we had
breakfast at
Cinnamons.

I got irritated
and wondered
if everyone else
was irritated with me
or if it was me
that was irritated with them.

I read two poems to
K about Happiness
and then I pretended to
be the fish that was
deep fried
while kept alive.

We went to the mall
and checked the movies.
I bought undergarments
and we looked for a toy
for a cat that isn’t
ours.

The mall was ready for Christmas
and I heard songs about Santa Baby
and Marshmallow World.

We shoplifted things that would never sell
and that no one would buy.
a bunny for me
stickers for him.

When there was nothing else to see
we went home.


the home downstairs


The family that owns the house we’re living in, lives on the property too. All the units connect but we hardly ever see or hear each other. Downstairs in our house is a staircase that has a little post-it note sign: Please Do Not Open.

This door leads directly into our neighbors apartment. For the first time the other night, we got to see what lies on the other side. B and C had us over for dinner with some friends and neighbors.

I love this family. There’s something so easy and warm about them. The house, in a way, is an embodiment of their spirit.

One of our neighbor’s who came to the dinner also has left a strong impression on me. She is a huge personality and exudes a joyfulness that is so magnetic. She was a firefighter for 18 years. I love her stories. I could listen to them for hours.