I just poked myself in the eyelid when I ran into this Bird of Paradise.
I’m so resistant to blogging. Everything is happening so fast and we’ve been so blessed in this last week. The hospitality Ken and I have received on this island is so profound that it’s hard to process while we’re going through it. The house is a mess, most of our belongings are making their way back to NY, and the next few days are our last on this adventure.
I know when I’m back in NY I’ll catch a scent or see a flower that will bring me back here and I’ll long to be back. It wasn’t easy at first, but these days I can feel how much Hawai’i has changed me. I don’t think I’ve been this happy in years.
This place is made up of so much more than the rest of the world knows. More than I can know. It will always have a place in who I am. And I feel incredibly blessed by that. I only wish I could have written more here.
These days are mostly controlled chaos. We had a BBQ at our house this weekend to celebrate our friend’s birthdays and in a way to begin our process of saying goodbye.
This morning I started going through the books and papers I’ve accumulated over two years. I came across my folder of letters from Ruth that she sent when I first moved here. Every time I open it my heart clenches up. The first line of the top letter: Hullo, I hear Obama is in Honolulu.
Going back isn’t hard for me. I look forward to what comes next. But this place and the life that we’ve had here! I’m more grateful than I can express. It comes down to one thing: this house. It changed everything for me. The most painful parts of my life, Ruth was always there with me. She gave me the strength to face everything because I knew I had her friendship. In many ways, this house has eased the pain of losing her. I wake up everyday and I see the ocean and sunshine. When we move out, it’ll be like leaving a great friend.
We have four weeks left here. There’s so much that we’re trying to do before we leave. The last few weeks have been invigorating. K and I want to leave something behind that we can continue to contribute to even after we leave and alot of the pieces have been falling into place, but I’ll leave that for another post.
Four weeks left. Almost 2 years behind us. We’re returning to a place that you rarely see green, you don’t wake up looking at the sky, and mochi is not in abundant supply. So while we were having lunch the other day I brought a notebook with me and we started our Hawaii wish list: all the things that I hope we get to do before we leave. Some of these things we want to do together. Some only one of us wants to do (ie skydiving (eg not me)).
1. Volcanos (Big Island)
2. Black sand beaches (Big Island)
3. Swim with dolphins in the wild (with a life vest)
5. Take a surf lesson ( I don’t swim)
9. Stay on Kauai’s North Shore
10. Old Lahaina Luau
11. Merrie Monarch
These are sort of touristy things. Hopefully more specific ideas will occur to me.
In four weeks we’re back home. I find myself trying to take stock of all kinds of things:
what we want to do before we leave here;
what our new home might look like;
what kind of job I’ll get
wish us luck!
Our dog visitors left yesterday after spending a week with us. Jake was 14 years old. He had a pinched nerve so you couldn’t pet his neck and he dragged his feet when he walked sometimes getting his front legs crossed so that he would trip himself and fall face forward. I liked Jake. I hear the neighborhood dogs bark and I miss the low menacing woof and feeble snarl coming from somewhere near my feet…
On the heels of writing that I wasn’t going to blog about frogs and such anymore, a disgusting natural-ish phenomenon lands on our literal doorstep. We have a water fountain in front of our house and yesterday while I was on the phone and pacing the driveway, I noticed something odd: it looked like it was raining in the fountain. I put my hand out and didn’t feel any raindrops, so I looked at the fountain more closely…..
THOUSANDS OF TADPOLES! Blech. Sometimes nature is gross.