We’ve been home in New York for just a little over 2 months now. I’ve been meaning to blog but have been lost in my thoughts, unable to articulate what being home feels like. Reconnecting with people and trying to feel normal in this bustling crazy town has taken up most of my brain power.

When we first got here I was so occupied with noting the differences between being here and being in Hawaii. The thing that struck me as the funniest and most perplexing difference was that everyone in New York is on their cell phone. Which isn’t a spectacular observation but it takes being away to see how odd it is to be surrounded by people having passionate, personal conversations everywhere you go.  Even when you’re sitting in your tiny apartment with your window open and someone decides to stop right under it and berate some faceless sap for drinking too much, or not wanting to get married, or for flirting with someone’s best friend.  The first day after we arrived we were buying drug store supplies and a South Asian girl behind us on her cell phone declared to the person on the other end that there wasn’t any other person in the world that she could confide what she was about to confide. Meanwhile there were about 5 of us on line with her.

But that’s what it’s like here. We live in tiny spaces with roommates or partners. Most of the day is spent walking to either meet someone for lunch, pick up your dry cleaning, attend an event, or go to a dr’s appointment. I find myself constantly on the phone ranting or raving about something or someone completely unfazed by the strangers walking alongside me just a couple of feet away. It’s like being woven into a crazy rug.

I missed Hawaii terribly when we first got here. I was very pleased with myself whenever someone said to me ‘you’re so calm!’ or ‘Hawaii is good for you!’. I was worried that being back would wind me up again and that I’d lose that aloha spirit. Perhaps I have because being here feels alot more normal than living across from a beautiful beach and driving thirty minutes to buy mac nut kona coffee.

We head back to Hawaii in four weeks. I can feel the nervousness stirring up again as we shift from being here to getting ready to be there. It is, at least, not an uninteresting existence.


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