Learning about myself

This is what it looks like to sleep in Kailua:

This is different from the city.  And it’s made me realize that I like sleeping with street noise and in a bedroom half lit by streetlights.  I really don’t like the dark quiet.  It’s kind of weird.  It’s what I imagine being dead is like.  I spend most of the night (after K has fallen asleep) reading the news on my phone in the dark and noticing every random noise.  I wonder if that’ll change after being here a few months.

I got an email yesterday from a poet inviting me to be on a Bamboo Ridge panel addressing Filipino diasporic literature.  I get really nervous about these kinds of things but I’m trying to think of this period living in Hawaii as an experiment.  I’m trying to push myself to re-imagine my identity, my path.  So to panels:  Yes!  I’ll do it!