So one day I wasn’t a driver and the next day I was. I have a rented car that we’ve affectionately dubbed Suzu (it’s a Suzuki) and can now get myself around unlike last year.

It’s been a mini earthquake in my brain to accommodate thinking about driving. It’s not easy. Especially when you’re 35 and your total driving experience prior wouldn’t amount to 24 hours.

The day after we got the car K made me drive all over the place, mainly our Meals on Wheels route so that I would be comfortable doing it alone if he was working. That first day I drove 75 miles over the course of 6 hours. It was great–liberating even.

Then came the first day that K left for work and I was going to spend most of the day alone. I dilly-dallied around the house for hours doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, answering emails… I felt so much pressure to make good use of my day. To take the car and go do some ‘good’ with it, when all I really wanted to do was focus on my chores.

The way I felt made me realize how different my days have been when K isn’t around and that even though I wished so badly that I could get around on my own that there were parts of it that I looked forward to. Days being home for 14+ hours alone, far away from anything and anyone became almost an imposed meditation. Not that I really produced anything (aside from this blog) but I had found ways to be comforted by my routine.

That’s different now. Now there’s really nothing stopping me from being part of this place outside of the confines of our house and it being part of me. That is, if it was mobility holding me back. I guess we’ll see.


To drive or not to drive


I drove ALOT today.  First, I drove all the way to Chinatown (with K in the passenger seat) to meet Sarah for yoga.  I also drove around Kailua for our errands in the afternoon.  It felt good except for slamming on the brakes at a yellow light and then driving on the wrong side of the road in Chinatown.  While on the winding Pali Highway I just kept reminding myself of what Annie told me:

  1. if she can do it I definitely can
  2. drive 35 miles an hour, or as slow as I like (who cares, let them pass!)

There was a little yellow VW bug on the road basically riding on it’s brakes.  I stayed behind it pretty much the whole way into town.  I smiled and told K that I liked her style and I was perfectly content to follow her.  As we passed the car closer to town, K glanced at the driver and I said ‘what’s that lady look like?’  He burst out laughing and said she’s an old lady.  I’m perfectly happy to be in the driver category of slower-than-an-old-lady.  I think a few more times with K and I can probably drive into town alone.  Parking is a totally different story.

We were supposed to take class with Murti today but we had a great substitute.  Here’s a brief review of our yoga teachers so far:

  • Murti- awesome
  • Jai Ma- awesome fantastic
  • Brigitte- very good; wonderful intention

I think we’ve sampled everyone at Open Space except for 2 or 3 teachers.  The three above are people I would go back to again and again.  Brigitte also teaches at a place just two miles from our home called Aloha Yoga Kula.  I’m looking forward to trying their teachers after our new student discount expires at Open Space.

Here is the cutest padded envelope I’ve ever seen from Kailua’s Post Office: