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It happened.
We moved this past weekend.
I was instantly more comfortable in this house than places I’ve lived for years and years. Normally when I’m alone, I have to manage all kinds of irrational fears–including those of the supernatural realm. I spend most of my time looking over my shoulder… mulling over unfamiliar noises. I like to blast the TV to drown out any potentially alarming sounds. When K was here in Hawaii and I was back in NY, I went to bed every night with the TV turned up high. Every morning I would drag myself bleary-eyed into work at the museum with a venti coffee. I was so tired that many times I contemplated buying two ventis at once.
Revelation!
This house is free of bad feelings–free of dark corners or suspicious sounds. I was describing it to a friend and came up with a good metaphor. The house is like a labrador retriever: golden, warm, and solid. It’s like a big dog that embraces anyone entrusted to its care. When we’re out, I’m excited to come home. And when we’re home I’m constantly discovering new things. The other day, bringing in groceries, I peered into a giant pot which I thought was just a pot. Inside it was filled with water and tiny lily pads. Beneath the water I could see movement and when I focused I saw schools of tiny fish and tadpoles. In the morning a lotus blooms and emerges from underneath. As the day goes on it disappears only to come back the next day.
I love it here. All other places have dissipated.
K and I started our Lanakila Meals on Wheels route again yesterday. We took over a route that a woman named Rashan had been doing for a year. She did the route with us so that she could say goodbye and introduce us to the seniors. In contrast to how I’ve delivered meals, Rashan really took her time and did alot of talk story. I was touched by how gentle and genuine she was with each of them even though I got tired part way through and let K go on without me.
I never knew my grandparents. Before this, I wasn’t really curious about seniors and had no affinity for them. But my best friend Ruth, who passed away last December, was 75, Technically a senior, Ruth was younger than me in spirit and my favorite person in the world to talk to. I never saw her as any age until she got sick.
Spending time with her in hospice showed me that little things can make a huge difference to someone that can’t do everything for themselves anymore. Being able to do this route means alot to me…mainly a chance not to be a mainland boor.
Last Sunday we caught the last two hours of the Made in Hawaii Festival. We’d been moving all weekend and almost forgot it was happening. Our new landlady sent us an email reminding us about the festival. We dashed over there before it closed down and walked through the whole thing.
It was pretty much how I imagined it would be. If there was more time and a little less people I really would have liked to explore each booth. There were so many great things like pidgin t-shirts, roasting pan cozies, straw hats, koa wood jewelry boxes, Hawaiian christmas ornaments, local fruit jams, and on and on.
At first I was dashing around grabbing every business card that I could. And then I realized there’s probably a roster of vendors on their site. Even though we won’t be here for next year’s festival, I figure I’ll look up individual companies and explore their wares over the course of this year. There were lots of people there and it seemed like a lot of the popular vendors had sold out. Like the Made in Hawaii Foods mochi strawberries.
It’s a really great event. We came home with a clay coaster that absorbs water ‘magically’, a Hawaiian crest key chain, and poha jam.
We had dinner at Ono Hawaiian Food the other night with Sarah and Steve. I’ve been hearing about this place since we got here and I have been wanting to have real Hawaiian food for months.
It may sound weird given my curiosity for local culture, that we haven’t had Hawaiian food until now but it’s not as easy to find as you might think. We’ve had bits and pieces here and there but it’s been mostly fusion style, like Alan Wong’s (which is super fancy).
I loved it. I even wanted to go back the next day for lunch. On the door was a sign that instructed people to wait online to the right of the entrance and encouraged them to be patient–on a hand-written sign ‘no get mad’.
The highlights for me were the lau lau (pork wrapped in spinach leaves), kalua pork (pulled seasoned pork), and haupia (coconut jello-ish). I loved it. It was so yum.
We went for drinks down the street afterwards and we had a really great conversation with them about the idea of locals vs tourists and Hawaii’s multi-faceted relationship with tourism. I even tried to video some of our conversation which I’ll post and write about later.
In the meanwhile two interesting links: A Washington Times article about Hawaii turning 50 this year and a Hawaii agency dedicated to helping tourists in trouble (via Sarah).
When we first got here I had to get a new bathing suit because I’d left mine in NY. We wound up in the swimwear section of Nordstrom’s at Ala Moana Mall. Along with a wide variety of swimsuits they have all manner of beach cover-ups. This is generally somthing you wear over your suit when going to the beach, sitting at the beach, or leaving the beach.
I was so enamored by these light loose fitting garments that I got a few. I think I believed that these dresses would help me ‘fit in’ to what felt like an alien sunshine-filled culture. I don’t think I’d ever owned a beach cover- up before this. I also got three pairs of glittery flip flops.
I proceeded to wear these dresses not only to the beach but everywhere else too. I think I wore one to my first staff meeting at HIFF. I was always confused when people in non-beach situations would say to me ‘oh I like your beach cover-up.’ I always thanked them but then wondered how on earth they knew it wasn’t just a regular dress.
Now that I’ve had a little time to mull it over I realize it’s because of several reasons:
1. they’re usually see-through
2. if they’re not see-through they’re made of terry cloth
3. they usually come in offensively bright colors and patterns.
4. and often times they’re held together by drawstring, ribbon, or elastic.
I started to notice that outside of Kailua, people wear very normal non-beach clothes. Honestly I don’t know what took me so long to realize this. I also realized that although flip flops are pretty prevalent out here it’s not really appropriate to wear them everywhere. Say, dinner at a fancy restaurant.
So this time around I left half of my beach cover-ups back in NY so that I wouldn’t be tempted to wear them everyday. I have a new one that’s all black and doesn’t even look like one. Honest. I only wear it around Kailua and the times I wear it into town are times we’re actually going to the beach.
We had friends in from out of town recently. Last year only a couple of people came to visit. This year there’s a steady march of people coming in from NY.
My friends, at our suggestion, came into Kailua one afternoon and because of a combination of unfortunate circumstances lost their wallet, iphone, license, money, and credit cards. We felt terrible for them.
They believed that they were bamboozled by locals that had the stereotypical signs of being crystal meth addicts. I have no reason to disbelieve them–they’re very reasonable, level-headed people. I’ve been thinking about it alot because it’s so different from our experience of Kailua. Would I feel the same way about this place if I hadn’t had the opportunity to slowly develop a love for it?
Their misfortune left me a little sad about Kailua but more sad that they would leave associating it with unhappy things. My friend encouraged us to get a guard dog in our new place. His wife added that we might consider a pitbull.
On the flip side we went to a dinner party the other night for a writer that was also visiting from out of town. He and his family had spent his two year sabbatical on Oahu. After his sabbatical ended they came back a couple of months later. This visit is their second vacation here in less than six months.
I asked K if he thought we would be like them after this year is done– coming back to Hawaii every few months because we miss it so much. He answered that he thought we’d probably be busy trying to establish a real home for ourselves in NY.
In the meantime, Kailua continues to be a revelation to me. I’m pretty certain that wherever we go and whatever happens to us I’ll always see this time as key in shaping my idea of home. Despite bouncing from place to place, I feel a sense of belonging here that I haven’t felt anywhere else.
Yesterday morning I realized that I suddenly felt at home in our temporary sublet. I thought the shift was worth noting because it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. I’ve felt it before –pretty much every time we return to NY.
A couple of days ago when we arrived at the rental, I felt a little nutso. I kept asking myself how I could feel so uncomfortable when my circumstances are basically like I’m on a permanent vacation. I’ve mentioned that the place felt cold. But it’s more than that. All my germaphobe tendencies were kicked into high gear and I hardly wanted to touch anything. Much less put any of my belongings in the drawers or closets.
It happened yesterday while I was sitting on the couch sketching and watching CNN. All of a sudden I realized I was comfortable. I spent the rest of the day making macaroni salad and putting things away as if we’re going to be here for more than the week we have left.
I guess the good thing is that since we don’t really have a place that our things can stay for more than a few months at time we don’t feel homesick for one place. The closest place we’ve felt that way about was our rental last year, which was very much someone else’s home.
I said to K a couple of days ago that for two people that need such specific circumstances to feel comfortable we sure do challenge ourselves to constantly adjust.
We’re in a sublet for the next two weeks. It’s designed to be very utilitarian and easy to clean. Primarily because it functions as a short-term beach house. All the appliances are super new and have a solid feeling about them but the result of all these smooth surfaces feels a little cold and not homey.
With that said, I love this washing machine. However discombobulated I feel the way we’re living right now is no comparison to our quality of life in Manhattan.
Like most, we have to take our laundry to a public laundromat. Sometimes you’re washing your clothes next to a homeless person who is basically sitting there in as little as he/she can wear. Once I watched a homeless man ask a young girl folding her laundry if he could have a shirt. Luckily a man close-by (who was more compatible size-wise) gave the guy one of his shirts.
Psychologically it makes a huge difference to wash your laundry at home. For me, it borders on pleasurable to use this washing machine. First off, it’s shiny. It has lots of settings. It has wrinkle guard. And when it’s in use, it’s so quiet it sounds like a cat purring.
At the end of last season we gave up our rented condo and returned to NY. We loved our Kailua home but wanted to start fresh when we came back. This meant that we had to stay in a hotel when we returned. My friend Sarah recommended Hotel Renew, a very affordable boutique hotel in Waikiki.
A quick scan of hotel rates in the area confirmed that Hotel Renew’s nightly rate was exorbitantly less than most…at the very least competitive. We stayed at the hotel just shy of two weeks which, if you’re not on vacation can feel like an eternity. Waikiki’s throngs of tourists and over-the-top vibe can be draining. In contrast Hotel Renew’s low-key polish is an oasis. The hotel staff’s attentiveness is genuine and warm. Wil, one of the valets, was particularly helpful and cheerful which made a difference when coming home from a long day of looking at rentals.
The hotel itself is lovely. You can feel the thoughtfulness in small details–from FACE Stockholm bathroom supplies to the beautiful reflecting fountain in the lobby. The rooms are very clean, well laid out, and quiet. My favorite part was the giant TV that could be angled to face almost any part of the room.
There’s no hotel restaurant, bar, or pool. But Hotel Renew does well with what it has. The continental breakfast is small but satisfying and the lounge serves wine until 9:30 PM. We’ve already recommended the hotel to two sets of friends coming in from NY this month. We’ll recommend it to anyone else that asks.
pros: thoughtful Contemporary design, giant TV, great staff, warm vibe, great location, very clean.
cons: no self parking, decent but at times spotty wi-fi service (no big downloads).
- an example of Hotel Renew’s clever marketing.
